Krypton Chronicles #2 (1981)
by E. Nelson Bridwell & Curt Swan
cover by Ross Andru
We already saw that Superman’s ancestors in recorded history included every single important person in the history of Krypton. And that was just the beginning.
We ended the first issue with the cliffhanger of a Kryptonian beast about to kill Superman… and we held the tension for three whole panels.
You would think Superman would be worried that someone is messing up with him, especially since there had been various acts of sabotage in the previous issue.
He proceeds to COMPLETELY IGNORE the fact that he was ambushed by a hologram.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, is where this miniseries turns absolutely bonkers.
Yes.
NOW.
Because you know those headbands that Kryptonian men always wear? At this point it had been firmly established that it was just a fashion item, like ties on Earth.
Now Supergirl’s father has invented a device that can read the memories of the people who wore them!!!
Yep. We’re only at page 3 and we’re already at the “inventing a device that can read thoughts recorded by ties” stage.
Even worse: considering that Krypton canonically exploded in the year 10,000 of its calendar (which is already hilarious on its own)… it means we passed the ““inventing a device that can read thoughts recorded by ties OVER 300 YEARS AGO” stage.
Our first tie flashback brings us back to the days when Krypton was under alien occupation.
The Vrangs are not an invention of this story: they come from 1965’s Superman #176.
And if you’re thinking “wow, a Superman story that focuses on the foreign occupation of his homeworld, that sounds interesting! How come it wasn’t included in the retrospective?”…
Because it WASN’T the focus: it was just the backstory for why Superman can’t lie on the anniversary of the liberation.
The Vrangs came to Krypton to exploit its natural resources, like its jewel mines.
I bet the “jewels” are actually space guano.
Superman #176 established Val-Lor as the man who inspired the rebellion but died immediately afterwards.
The same happens here. But this miniseries couldn’t leave a guy who isn’t from Superman’s family be the one to have the most impact on Kryptonian society…
…so they add a guy who looks suspiciously like a bearded Superman taking charge after Val-Lor’s death. And OF COURSE he’s the greatest scientific mind of his generation.
I think that the scientific achievements of Krypton have been exaggerated quite a bit.
We were told they had highly advanced scientific knowledge, but… turns out there’s always ONE GUY per generation who knows stuff on the whole planet.
At least this guy is far more humbled than his descendants, because he gives credit to Val-Lor even if he was the one to almost single-handedly drive off the Vrangs.
I swear if this leads to a segment explaining why Earth and Krypton share the same iconography for lightning, I’m going insane.
Well, MORE insane.
This is what passes for tension in this miniseries, folks.
I guess they went with “Krypton Chronicles” because “The Minor Inconveniences of Superman” was too long for the title.
We move back a generation, where we discover that the father of the guy who led the rebellion was the inventor of the telescope AND a descendant of the inventor of the clock.
He’s also the guy who discovers aliens are about to invade Krypton.
A member of the El family warning of an impending catastrophe and being ostracized for it? Who could’ve seen THAT coming?
I’m not gonna lie, as preposterous as those flashbacks are, I kind of miss the variety of the first issue. These are so boring that even the subplot takes precedence!
Is a crypt still a crypt if it has a backdoor?
An even earlier ancestor invented the compass.
Up to this point, the parallels between the ancestors and Earth’s historical figures has been almost non-existent.
But the same ancestor who invented the compass feels slightly familiar.
Jokes aside, it’s totally different because Val-El sailed with FOUR ships!
There is ONE tiny bit of worldbuilding that I actually like here.
A lot of previous flashbacks (especially in the late 70s) already showed that Kryptonians believed women were better astronauts than men. So the idea that this was a carryover for when women were considered to better sailors does track.
The discovery of the new continent also led to the discovery of black people.
Please don’t do anything racist please don’t do anything racist please don’t… uhm… it’s actually not racist at all? Now THAT is definitely the biggest shock of this miniseries!!!
This is also not a new thing. Vathlo, the island where all black Kryptonians come from, was first mentioned in the backup feature of Superman #134 in 1971.
It’s not until Superman #139, however, that a passing reference in a page showcasing the map of Krypton that Vathlo Island is where black Kryptonians come from.
Mentions of Vathlo Island are EXTREMELY rare, but we do occasionally see some black Kryptonians in more recent comics.
The flashback isn’t over, because Kryptonian Columbus is betrayed by his brother and half his crew…
…and proceeded to discover a SECOND continent!!!
There are only three pages left, and we still haven’t discovered anything about the saboteur.
So the comic apparently decided this subplot was too boring to go into the third issue, so on the first panel of the third-to-last page we’re told the secret outright.
This is Black Flame, also known as Supergirl’s least interesting Kandorian villain.
Her plan was to annoy Supergirl long enough to trap her on Kandor before the planet shifted away from its dimension…
…a planet that revolves around the heroes not having a clock.
Well, we got as far back as the memories imprinted on Kryptonian ties allowed.
You better believe we’re going to get even MORE ridiculous in the finale!
Let’s recap the people we met in this miniseries. The El family has included, from most recent to most ancient:
-Krypton’s greatest scientist for 3 generations
-the guy who rebuilt Krypton’s capital
-the guy who chose their form of government
-the Krypton pope
-the general in charge of the last great war
-the guy who discovered nuclear energy
-the guy who cured world hunger
-the guy who revolutionized medicine
-Krypton’s greatest theater actor
-Krypton’s greatest writer
-The man who freed Krypton from alien domination
-The inventor of the telescope
-The inventor of the compass AND “discoverer” of TWO continents
-The inventor of the clock
Historical significance: 0/10
Silver Age-ness: 10/10
There is no indication whatsoever that those headbands are anything more than fabric.
Does it stand the test of time? 3/10
The Curt Swan artwork is the only saving grace, because man was this boring.
Look, I like history and I like fictional history, but you can’t just put a history lesson inside your comic book story if, you know, THERE IS NO STORY.
The closest thing to one is the Black Flame subplot, and that amounts to absolutely nothing!!!
More trivia from the last page glossary.
There was a city without any laws up until the point Krypton exploded.
That’s from World’s Finest #191 from 1970.
Can you tell it’s a Cary Bates story?
We also have further information about Vathlo Island, as well as the fact that Van-Zee does have a reason for being Superman’s lookalike: they’re distantly related.
All it’s left is to explain the other two dozen Superman lookalikes.
First Tyroc for the 30th century, now Vathlo for Krypton… what is it with 1970s DC Comics and fictional settings relegating all the black people of a planet to a single remote island?