Superman #281 (1974)
by Cary Bates & Curt Swan
cover by Nick Cardy
I was going to make a joke about how Vartox dresses, but what’s a better joke than just staring at him?
Yes this was the same year when Sean Connery starred in Zardoz, why do you ask?
That movie was released in February and this comic has a cover date of November, so there can be little doubt there was at least SOME influence.
We begin with two parallel scenes: a woman being robbed in Metropolis, and another woman living in a world “trillions of light-years” away.
As of 2026, the most distant astronomical object we discovered is 33.8 billion light-years from Earth. Since the caption says the planet is “trillions” of light-years away, it has to be at least 2.
So this place is 59.2 times farther from Earth than the most distant object we have discovered.
Killing the woman on Earth also kills the one on the other side of the universe, much to the despair of her husband.
This happened because the woman from Earth was her “bionic twin”, whatever that means.
No, seriously, why is “bionic” supposed to mean here?
Vartox learns more about the murder thanks the Time-Scanscope™ that he invented (!!!) and that allows him to use one of his many, many, MANY superpowers to look into the past.
Up to this point we’ve seen him fly, use Hyper-Vision and apparently have hyper-intellignce, so…
Vartox hyper-powers: 3
Vartox also learns that Superman is the protector of his planet, just like Vartox.
I’m kind of surprised Superman isn’t ALREADY well-known several trillion light-years from Earth.
Vartox still travels to Earth, where Superman wants to prevent him from taking the criminal who indirectly killed his wife.
There is no indication that Vartox wants to kill him, by the way, so this is a very forced conflict.
Vartox can also release some kind of paralyzing chemtrail; it does seem to come out of those things attached to his boots, but he DOES mention his “planetary powers” so…
Vartox hyper-powers: 4
Superman, overcomplicating solutions to minor problems since 1938.
Why exactly couldn’t he just MOVE OUT OF THE WAY???
The criminal is being interviewed by Lois Lane, when he’s kidnapped by telekinesis.
Vartox hyper-powers: 5
He also has “remote-control blows”. Which I suppose could just be an application of his telekinesis, but Superman does give them a name so…
Vartox hyper-powers: 6
He’s also super-strong, can teleport, and can shoot “hyper-charges”.
Vartox hyper-powers: 9
But once one of the beams is deflected, it ends up killing Lois Lane!!!
This looks like the perfect opportunity from a rousing game of “Guess the stupid twist”!
How does Lois Lane survive?
A) Vartox goes back in time to deflect the blast
B) Vartox has the power to resurrect the recently deceased
C) Vartox has the power to suck out the energy from her body
D) This never happened, it’s a simulation
E) she is rescued by Sean Connery
NONE OF THAT HAPPENED, it was all just a simulation created by Vartox’s powers.
Vartox hyper-powers: 10
Wait wait wait… that doesn’t work. AT ALL.
Vartox wasn’t just simulating his fight with Superman! He also simulated a whole subplot about Lois Lane being at the prison because of a scoop, including simulating her thoughts!
The only reason she was in trouble in your simulation is that you made up the fact that she would be at the prison!
Not to mention that the simulation didn’t just include Superman’s thoughts… it included this moment where Superman is SPECIFICALLY thinking about a move that Vartox is not supposed to know!!!
So Vartox, who I remind you HAS NEVER MET THESE PEOPLE, not only knows about Superman’s secret judo moves… he also made sure to think that Superman would think that Vartox wouldn’t think about this?
Sounds legit.
Back on Earth, it turns out that the killer managed to get away with the murder because of an unspecified legal loophole.
And since he can’t be prosecuted for the same crime twice, he’s a free man.
Hey, a rare good Superman moment from the 70s! Instead of just accepting things as they are, Superman decides he’s going to keep a close eye on the criminal to make sure he DOES get arrested the next time he commits a crime. That’s actually a very Superman thing to do.
The criminal is then contacted by his brother, who has been hypnotized by Vartox into giving him a fake identity.
Vartox hyper-powers: 11
And he then gaslights the criminal into believing he’s always had superpowers.
Meanwhile, Clark Kent is spending time with Lois Lane learning karate. This is an ongoing thing in the early 70s, showing them together more and more often when out of work (since they’re no longer co-workers: Clark is a TV reporter now).
Still no clue what she sees in him, though.
Vartox helped the criminal to steal a gem, which he actually planted himself.
Wait, did we just move the planet from trillions of light-years to “millions of miles” from Earth???
By comparison, 2 trillion light-years is 5,878,625,000,000,000,000 million miles.
See writers, this is why you don’t just make up distances because they sound cool, you never know if you will be nitpicked 52 years later.
Superman shows up to apparently break this guy’s neck by catapulting his head through the ceiling (!?!?), and apparently Vartox actually CAN grant you powers.
Vartox hyper-powers: 12
Including giving the criminal telekinesis…
…into what is BY FAR the most memorable page of the story.
While Superman checks with the jewelry store that the gem WASN’T stolen from his catalogue, Vartox teleports the criminal to his world.
The teleportation is interrupted by a piece of white dwarf star material in its way. What is it with Cary Bates and white stars? This is the second story where he puts one in a story for no reason!
Also, Superman is faster than intergalactic teleportation. SOMEHOW.
Seriously, this was completely unnecessary to the story, since Superman doesn’t even interrupt the kidnapping.
Vartox reveals the whole scheme to the criminal, and this is perfectly legal… on his planet.
I feel like this could be considered entrapment on Earth.
I know I have a couple of lawyers between my readers… anyone willing to chime in?
And Superman is okay with this because the gem that was stolen wasn’t actually from the store.
I feel like he made quite the leap of logic here, because Superman didn’t know Vartox’s entire deal!
To be okay with the kidnapping and be consistent with Superman’s values, he would also have needed to figure out:
1) that Vartox wanted to take the criminal to his planet
2) that he had reasons for not simply kidnapping him
3) that he wanted to arrest the criminal
4) that the charges were legit
5) that the alien justice system wouldn’t just kill the criminal
But rest assured that they did not, in fact, actually kill the criminal.
They just let him with few years to live.
Historical significance: 2/10
Vartox is one of the few I-can’t-believe-this-is-not-from-the-Silver-Age characters in the 70s that actually stuck around in some form.
Silver Age-ness: 5,878,625,000,000,000,000 / 10
I remind you that this is a story that wastes 5 pages on a hypothetical scenario where Vartox is specifically thinking about Superman thinking about stuff that Vartox explicitly should not know.
Does it stand the test of time? 2/10
Well it does better than Zardoz, that’s for sure. But aside from the usual Curt Swan greatness, nothing much really stands out… the concept of Superman seeking justice after a criminal has escaped the law has been explored in MUCH better ways, and aside from his outrageous look Vartox is not very memorable.
Vartox hyper-powers: 12
Flight
Hyper-Vision
Hyper-Intelligence
Paralyzing chemtrails
elekinesis
Remote-control blows
Hyper-Strength
Teleportation
Hyper-Charge beams
Hyper-Mental Projection
Hyper-Hypnotism
Power bestowal
Interesting letters: nothing from this issue. The only letter talking about the story is from #285.
The letter writer is right: Vartox DID show up again. In fact, he has an additional FOURTEEN appearances before Crisis On Infinite Earths!!!
He seems to demonstrate new powers every time he shows up! Those include Hyper-Static Beam, Hyper-Reflexes, Hyper-Frosting, the ability to create energy constructs, Hyper-Liquified Beams, Invisible Hyper-Beams, he can convert his body into energy, he’s a telepath…
Vartox hyper-powers: 20
*deep breath*
…has super-breath, can communicate with Ultra-Waves, turn objects 2-dimensional, become intangible and super-ionize things.
Vartox hyper-powers: 25
His planet is destroyed in 1979. Something that he notices with his hyper-senses.
Vartox hyper-powers: 26
After a few adventures he starts to court Lana Lang, and things get serious enough that they get engaged.
A relationship ended when one of his beams transmutes her into stone.
It’s later revealed that this wasn’t because of his beam, but he believes it’s his fault for a whole issue, so I’m betting this is something he can actually do himself.
Vartox hyper-powers: 27
That’s the reason for the Vartox cameo in Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow, despite being a very minor character: he used to be Lana Lang’s most serious romantic interest!!!
By the way, 27 super-powers is not the record: Stardust The Super-Wizard reached 32.
You’d expect Vartox to firmly remain in the pre-Crisis years, but a new version does meet Superman in 1999.
Although that’s more of a homage than anything: he doesn’t look as ridiculous and he has generic Superman powers now.
He next shows up in a few issues of Power Girl in 2010, where they’re going all-in with the ridiculousness of the character.
They’re also integrating the Zardoz inspiration into more than his looks, because now his goal is to repopulate his planet with the help of Power Girl.
He’s also HILARIOUS in this.
He’s less powerful than before…
…and less dressed.
Power Girl seems to have become his primary interest from this point forward.
Despite her protestations.
